Farewell, My Neighbour...

I will be leaving in another few days’ time to another hostel and it’s a mixed feeling. Though there is so much of hope, joy and excitement about the new prospects of bringing about a difference to my life that seems so mundane right now, I am nonetheless filled with grief that I would be leaving the presence of a good friend, Mayank Mishra, my ever cheerful neighbour who doesn’t fail to evoke a smile on my face whenever I run into him. This is a sort of eulogy for his cheerful demeanor which has proved to be infectious in my case.

He is that ideal friend of yours, who could be counted upon as a trustworthy, noble soul. I am glad that I could have whatever brief moments of interaction I was able to manage to have with him over the past one year. Unfortunately, I regret that I couldn’t actually BE his friend.. You know what I mean??!! ..though I am very very selective about choosing people who could be branded as my ‘friends’, considering the very sacredness it means to me, I, for one moment am not hesitant to be honoured to consider him my friend… Agreed, we didn’t hang out at all.. we didn’t sit together hours on end that could have made us know ourselves inside out… we didn’t have any thing in common… we couldn’t spare time for one another… In fact, I rarely get to see him. Technically speaking, he ought to be in the category of acquaintances… but NO WAY.. Such is his provocative innocence that he circumvents so many general norms to find a way into my heart as a special person, a gentle and warm human being who is worth remembering!!!............. Thank You.. Mayank, for being what you have been… May God Bless you and shower all his blessings upon you for your peace, prosperity and contentment…. Au revoir….

That feeling of nervousness and relief w.r.t exams!!

I am glad I could pull it off today. I had thought it would be a disastrous run! Thankfully, it wasn't a complete wipe-off as I had envisaged. I just got lucky I suppose. PHEW!! What a struggle I had to put up to muster all my strength to focus for the mid semester exam! The course "Human Development: A Psychological Perspective" is very unlike any other course I have had to go through. Right after the first lecture, I had made up my mind to care two hoots about scoring and seriously give it a shot. Very well knowing that I might not be good at 'reproducing' theoretical stuff, I chose it for the sheer moments of brilliance the instructor Prof. Meenakshi Gupta was able to give us a glimpse of. It's like unravelling the mysteries of your hitherto inexplicable experiences of life. By God! What a course!! For the first time, I seem to be enjoying a course with so much of profound excitement. There's this casualness about the course which is uncharacteristic of an engineering course. There's this comfy-zone one can wander away into, listening to the intricacies of human behaviour explained with such articulate precision. How I wish I were so attracted to all the electrical engineering courses!!!!! Just yesterday, at around this time, I was such a nervous wreck imagining all horrors of my inefficiency in the exam, struggling at the same time to cram in as much as I could for the exam. And now here I am, gleefully recounting my stint with the immense relief the aftermath has brought about in me...... Just wondering how I would have felt had I been able to do exceptionally well, as I could actually have if only I were a little more systematic in my preparation....

Tennis as a means to excel...

And the excitement and tempted postponements come to an end for the time being, hopefully, today early in the morning. Roger Federer wins his second consecutive U.S Open Men’s Title. For a die-hard fan of Roger, I was surprised to see myself rooting for Agassi for most part of the match. It’s the feel-good factor that was making me do so. I too, like the millions of fans out there wanted a fairy-tale finish for a spectacular career that Agassi had. I was also reminded of how I had been through a roller coaster ride of emotions when Steffi Graf made it to the finals of Wimbledon in 1999.

Watching tennis has always been a great relief. I bask in the glory of analogies, forgetting all my worries and setbacks. The day dreaming in me goes wild at times, with my fantasies of being the World’s most admired tennis player!! In the process, I simulate in me emotions of victory and defeat. Foolish as it might seem, I have thoroughly enjoyed my tryst with tennis-related stuff. I am in a zone, enjoying moments of grace and charm brought forward by the best in this field. And co-incidentally, after Steffi, it’s Roger who has had me glued to the television, watching grace unfold in its all finesse.

Like a true champion, today Federer raised his level when it mattered the most. Though his backhand was erratic, he more than made up for it with his booming first serves. He was not a complete player in the exact sense of word today, nevertheless worked his way through the final like a champion. He’s a legend in the making. There’s a lesson or two to learn from today’s match. It’s about not loosing cool in the heat of the moment. It’s about digging deep into your arsenal to produce the best shots when you notice some discrepancies in some aspects of your game for no good reason. Holds true for life too….

Now it’s time for me to settle down as soon as possible to make up for all those lost chances to excel in this semester. To begin with there is mid semester exam coming up the next week, for which I need to regroup my focus. How I crave to get into that zone of ecstasy and passion!!!

The Home Sickness...

Every time I return from home, I invariably suffer from what is known as a nostalgic outburst, making me very much vulnerable and incapacitated. I seem to lose all my confidence and submit myself to all the weaknesses which suddenly begin to resurface. I miss my mom terribly. I miss that utmost comfortable ambience of home, which is second to none. How time flies by! The first few hours after departure from home are excruciatingly painful. Isn’t it funny, that as long as you enjoy the glory and warmth of Home – Sweet Home, you are at peace with yourself, notwithstanding the occasional temper tantrums you throw around?? And once you step out of the confines of protective shadows of the all-pervading love and affection of mom, that human deity whose priority is to only make sure her son is comfortable in every sense of the word no matter how inconvenienced she gets, there is a cloud of gloom descending upon you… questioning your acts, past and future.

And the first few minutes after my arrival in the hostel are too unbearable to bear. For moments together, there is this uncontrollable urge inside me to leave everything as it is and run back home. Though in the backdrop of my mind, I am sure about the transiency, I cannot quite bring myself to believe in the logic. All I want to do is just go back home and be there for my mom and sis forever. Hmmmmm…. Very idealistic indeed…. Only prayers are all I have for the welfare of my family members now…. Strong, honest and sincere prayers…. May God Bless my Mom and Sis and keep them peaceful, healthy and happy ever. Mom, I love you…. Sis, though my acts always suggest otherwise, I love you…. Who else do I have whom I can proudly claim to belong to me.. in all honesty????