..The Expected Unexpected Turn!!

Never have I been so much in need of the reflection of my own words to soothe me. As I stare back into the hallowed turf of my past encounters with Her, I wonder why it all went so wrong with us. I take the blame for this fall unconditionally on myself. I saw it coming, but not with so much of momentum as to make me run for cover. I guess my defense mechanisms are in full swing, trying to minimize the beating that my psyche is sure to take in the long run. The observer in me is numb with shock as it is privy to the magnitude of my cowardice and hypocrisy uncensored. How much longer before I can stop living with this shame?? I only hope she can forgive me for my insufficiencies with generosity only she is capable of. May she live happily ever after. May she find bliss in her marital life. The eternal question of the existence of love once again has me in a quandary. Why the hell does everything in this world have to revolve around the Basic Instincts?? If only…..