My Students - My Strengths.

Memories….. those little mirror-windows through which you look at the past and be grateful for all that went by, however acerbic the taste of those moments were when they were unraveling… sweet memories only become sweeter… mistakes become invaluable lessons… There’s no stopping the floodgates of nostalgia when something triggers it off… When the first batch of engineering students whom I had taught were re-living all their adventurous college-life memories through yahoo-group mail exchanges, I couldn’t resist inputting my perspectives as well…. Here goes the transcript:

Guess it’s my time now to speak out. First things first… I am about to complete my M.Tech in IIT Bombay in another one month. I have applied for Ph.D admission in Reliability Engineering in IITB, hoping to build upon my open-ended M.Tech project that deals with advanced issues in Power System Reliability. I am hours away from finding out if the dreams which got sowed in me, thanks to my error-filled experimentation with you guys for nearly two years, are on their course to fruition.

Teaching happened to me by accident. Serendipitous it was! ‘Brathakaleka badipanthulu’ ani peddalu oorike ana ledu! All of some twenty one years and there I was, standing amidst you all in the class room to test the waters. And touchwood, I couldn’t have asked for a better platform. Before you brush aside these confessions of mine as some product of mere nostalgic temperament, let me assure you that every line penned down has the strongest iota of truth with introspective advantage, in retrospect.

Would you all agree with me when I state that for some incident to have happened the way it happened, there are always mysterious forces at work? That in the grand scheme of things, for every thing to fall in place, even the slightest of happenings would play a pivotal role in cementing the final consequence??

What I intend to highlight is that but for your batch, I wouldn’t have dared to tread on this path strewn with mind numbing obstacles. You see, my aim for academic excellence to strengthen my arsenal for the battle royale with professional challenges in teaching, far too exceeds certain inherent intellectual capabilities I possess, and hence the obstacles. Added to that there is always this temptation of upward comparisons with my peers who earn exponentially more than what I can possibly earn down the line. The aim is nobler, but the necessities, not even luxuries, dictate otherwise.

Call my adamant stance to embrace this profession a pursuit of a nobler aim, a quest for priding in being a role model, or even laziness to dodge my way out of the cut-throat competition in other arenas. I, however, feel it as a long nursed longing to enjoy the addictive compulsion to overcome the effects of deprivation in my life story. Being there for someone to look up to me, being there to offer a comforting shoulder to someone daring to travel on a road less traveled, being there to provide that inspiration required for a fledgling to diversify into life’s innumerable avenues……

It is to you all that I bow down in reverence for all your patience, affection and, hold your breath, inspiration! Agreed, that in retrospect, I was an awful teacher in terms of my proclivity to show my bias unashamedly; that I was half baked in my attempts to impart absolute knowledge to you; that I was not impervious to judgmental errors (some of them fatal as some of you would have personally felt) in matters of moral and ethics. But remember, like all those typically idealistic young aspirants persuaded by the hot bloodedness of youth, who envision themselves on the cusp of breakthroughs, I too was punch drunk with the intoxication of the “I-can-be-whatever-I-want-to-be” excitement. Ultimately, time firmly shows you your place, and you start picking up the pieces. As you age, wisdom catches upon you and with a heart warming jest, mocks at your past fallacy-based actions.

There are a few of you whom I call my protégés in my own idiosyncratic contented ways, with whom I have had a symbiotic relationship. Most of my monologue might make sense only to them. But still, I would be glad if I could convey the explicit intent – Thank You one and all. The lessons learned in course of my numerous trysts with destiny shall forever be cherished and acted upon… Hopefully one day, I would be a better teacher and a better human being…

And all of a sudden I feel a surge of pride and pain for all obvious reasons.... It only goes to show that life goes on..... no matter what.....