That First Chat With A Stranger...

Should say, it's rejuvinating when two strangers get to share random thoughts and experiences, one fine day. No deliberation involved...no strings attached...and for some divinely refreshing seconds, deluding oneself into a prospective bond of brotherhood seems just harmless.

I have always had some imperceptible fascination towards embarking upon an altogether new journey of friendship. But (un)fortunately I couldn't figure out the anatomy of relationships much to my brewing discontentment. I know, that as I age, my chance possibility of befriending soulful ones dwindles exponentially. However, that doesn't ever stop me from being on a High the every first time I sense the stumbling upon of someone potentially magical.... And so, here I write this feeling victorious about another delusional discovery.... I am learning to enjoy those brief moments of flowering hope, which when carried forward, always almost turn into incredible incidents of self-mockery. What the heck... I deserve to be optimistic for some glorious seconds at least... :-)

When shall the Hope rise??

I remember how an year ago, when I would step out of the campus, I would become conscious about the vulnerability of my status as a newbie in IIT. Looking at Mumbaites on the street has always had a striking impact on my psyche. The resultant feelings would goad me into conflicting emotions of hopelessness and hope. Now when I look back at all those incidents fondly, a smile runs across my face, also making me wonder how immune I am now to anything around me.... The last two months have seen me hit the newest level of rock bottom in my life as a student. Losing that hard earned ability to stay focused towards an academic goal (mostly short-term) is nothing short of a disaster, further readying itself to snowball into an even bigger disaster of unfelt proportions.

In short, I am distraught about my current state of idleness and lack of passion towards anything and everything..... What's going on?? As I stay clueless, I resign myself to a numbness about the evolving predicament..... I cannot even boldly brandish this state of mind as that of a passing phase... I want this phase to end... I want to be immersed productively in my studies.... I want life to be colourful and full of vigour once again..... What do I do now??? :-( Options galore...but what good can come of it when I am so headstrong?????

I have become a compulsive addict of the various interesting TV shows and that sure scares the hell out of me. I am very restless about this latest development which is bound to take me down mercilessly. Added to this, my sleeping habits have gone from bad to worse to the worst. Coupled together, they seem to have ruined my sense of self-sufficiency. With all this brouhaha, my research work has taken a bruised beating. I know I have a lot of catching up to do, but cannot care less about it in these times of euphoric delusions. There is a rut I am stuck up in and am desperate to get out of it... I want to be passionate about my studies once again... How can I ever forget the ecstatic kick I had gotten used to in the past, over studying diligently unmindful of any distractions???

It's been a while...

A gap of more than two years mocking at my resolution to dutifully blog is not an encouraging sight for a nostalgia prone person like me. Once again, expecting my howls in a vacuum of virtuality might not do any good to me. But what the heck! Let me march on, and see if I can sustain my own reflections....... Welcome to the insane world of a saner person... aka VVV!